20 Years Of Life!

20 Years Of Life! 

      I can't believe it's been 20 years since I came into this world. There's so much that has happened in that time, there's so much that I've learned. There's been so many trials, hardship, God, loss, life changes, friendships, etc. Although there were many rough times in 20 years there's a lot of noticing God's work in my life. God has been apart of my entire life and I've always had God in my life even as little 4-year-old memorizing verses for Awana. Although he was apart of my whole life I didn't fully experience him until I was 15 and wanted to get out of being alive. That experience was a God-stop moment and flipped my life around to want God and thirst for his love and grace! Never had I known in my entire life how much love could come from God. 

        Finding God encouraged me to be able to come out of my darkness and step into God's light. The main thing I learned about God all these years is that God is never going to give up on you. He never fails to see your potential even when you've given up on yourself. He digs into you with the truth that you need to hear not the comforting lies that Satan can tell. No matter how many times you break God is always there to pick up your shattered pieces and turn it into his mosaic! God gives you what he knows you need before he gives you what you want. God is a fortress of strength and our rock of refuge. That's why when God loves he has the passion of a raging current sweeping us in. God loves like no human can ever love. I like to think that God loves us uniquely rather than equally.

        In 20 years there has been much hardship that I've overcome and I learned the most about God through those experiences. I learned that God isn't going to leave you to drown in the sorrows. God only gives you what he knows you're able to overcome. Your thought process of being able to overcome things is way different than God's. When you say you can't handle it God is saying you can and you will! For many years there will be trials and tribulations that we have to overcome and God is always on your side doing it with you. How do we get so blessed to always have a mighty fortress that is always with us? We often chose to push God away because of pride. We think we can handle it without God but news flash you can't and won't ever be able to. We were designed to always need God. 

       There are parts of my story that I wish I could change and others that they had to happen to shape me. In my mind, I know that I can't change what happened but instead use it as a pathway to give God glory! I've been through physical, mental, and verbal abuse it occurred for about half of my life from my dad. I could have used it to break me but instead, I used it as a pathway to help others with similar abuse come to God. Yes, some days are harder to get through the day because it caused chronic PTSD, but I don't let it stop me from seeking God. God allowed me to break free from my Earthly Father so that I could receive the Heavenly Father wholeheartedly.  I was able to take away the blinders of what a father is and fully know what a real father is like. Heavenly Father is loving, grace-filled, merciful, patient, kind, unchanging, eternal, never abandons his children, etc. Heavenly Father is the total opposite of my Earthly Father, and I had to learn this to receive God!  

       The main point of my blogs is for me to get my thoughts out there on how utterly amazing God is. If we just lay down our Earthly desires and come to God, it's such a powerful moment. Lay down your burdens, struggles, hatred, unforgiveness, stubbornness, pride, etc, lift them up to God. Place them in his hands. Lay down anything that keeps you from seeking God and all his glory. Yes, I understand easier said than done, but God tells us to pray it over ourselves, pray for the impossible until the impossible happens because God is possible. Another main theme of my blogs is that God is a light in the darkness, like in John 1:5 (ESV) "the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it". So in our darkness no matter how hard it tries to take our light, it can't because God defeated darkness. 

        I've learned that when we live by faith and shut the door on fear, then it is so much greater of a life to live. For many years fear has controlled me and even still does. Although, When God is the driver in your life then fear doesn't seem as big as we think it is. Fear is the opposite of the truth, fear is impatient, rude, unkind, destructive, etc. The Holy Spirit is everything that fear isn't. Fear shouts louder than the truth so we hear it over truth. When we listen for Truth rather than fear then we can face fear and combat it. What fear doesn’t tell you is that you can overcome what fear is holding over you. We’re able to do this because we put Faith and Trust in God rather than putting it into fear. When we lift fear over the understanding of God’s powerfulness then we fall. When we put anything over listening to God then we fall. Now I’m not saying living without fear is possible for anyone but I don’t think it’s really about that. I think as long as we know the truth over fear, it calms the fear in our heads.
        Another thing I've learned over 20 years is that there are so many lies we've learned to believe. We always speak untruths over ourselves rather than knowing how God sees us. We are children of God, we are loved unconditionally, we are forgiven, we are beautifully and wonderfully made, We are chosen, we are strong because he is, etc. We are God's precious children that he put together in our mother's wombs. Yet hearing how powerful this is so many people are stuck believing that we aren't worth it. We are worth so much because Jesus chose to die for us to cleanse us of our sins so we could be forgiven and renewed. If that doesn't show you what unconditional love is, I don't know what does.
       We are blessed beyond measure to have such a holy and mighty God on our sides. We get to have God in our lives, we need him, we want him, we thirst for him. Little do we know we already have him. Keep pressing into God, keep seeking his kingdom. I could speak forever of how powerful it is to have such a God as our Heavenly Father! He is the rock, the deliverer, the king, the messiah, the everlasting God, our strength, our mosaic piecer, our refuge, and so much more! He wants us as much as we want him, he may even want us more than we want him. He's never going to let us down, give up on us, forsake us, hate us, not forgive us, etc. So if God feels this way about you then you know you are special and God loves you so much! He is alive in us and he wants in. So let God in!
      Lord, today I lift up anyone who is struggling to seek you. I pray that you wrap your arms around them and show them your unconditional love. I pray that you set their minds on your peace Lord and not their anxieties. You know the needs of everyone Lord, I just lift these needs to you, Lord. I pray that you surrounded the broken pieces with your healing and construct them into your masterpiece. Lord, I pray that anything that is blocking anyone from you that you tear down. You are so mighty God, show yourself to those who can't feel you! I ask that any troubles, sorrows, burdens, and hardships be lifted to you Lord and placed at your feet. Lord we ask these things in your mighty name, AMEN!